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August 12, 2011

My Ethan {Eucharisteo}

Eight years ago, Ethan was five months old. After the 10th day of his life, he rarely quit crying (screaming) while he was awake.  It was “colic”. . .24/7.  Little did I know that this would go on for the next two and 1/2 years.  No one understands (unless they have lived with a screaming child) what this is like. . .how it changes the dynamics of the family, the intensity of emotions, the immense amount of stress. I came to hate the phrases “This too shall pass” or “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”.  Day after day of listening to a child cry seems like an eternity. I tried to continue on with life the best I could with homeschooling, taking my older three children to karate two to four days a week, swim team in the summers, laundry, cooking, ironing, etc.  The only really good memories I have of those three years were family vacations where Ethan actually was happy and smiley most of the time. I honestly thought he was allergic to something in our home, so we’d eliminate cleaners, detergents, changing filters, etc.  We eliminated foods, changed our diet, etc.  We seriously tried everything and nothing seemed to help.  He had seizures a few times, had 16 teeth on his first birthday and was in and out of the doctor’s offices with no rhyme or  reason why he was in pain or what was going on with his little body. He was labeled in the autistic spectrum as he wasn’t talking at the age of three and didn’t walk until he was 17 months.  I was truly in survival mode for three years.  After a very long three years and two months, we ended up going to a naturopath who was able to figure out his issues. In one months time, he went from a very uncomfortable screaming three year who only could say “mama” and “dada” to talking in full sentences and smiling more than crying. He was reading full sentences out of books a few months after that.  At 8 years old, Ethan is delightful.  He brings so much joy and laughter to our family.  He is smart, witty and snuggly. I wouldn’t be taking pictures today or capturing moments in other people’s lives if it wasn’t for my Ethan.  My struggles and the lessons I learned through those struggles have lead me to where I am today and I wouldn’t change it for the world. It wasn’t until the last few months that I could actually say “Thank you, Jesus for the struggles, for the difficult times and for carrying me through”. . .

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